When the country went into lockdown two years ago — an unprecedented situation triggered by the pandemic — there was a lot of frenzy as to how the housework would be divided, how couples would manage their time. The panic that ensued forced people to change their outlook towards chores at home and how they can be divided and finished.
But it was not a smooth ride, for the lockdown exposed — among other things — domestic imbalance. Around the world, women more than men face inconvenience, having to manage both professional and personal life. Among them was Anuradha Menon (aka Lola Kutty) who shared that she was “deeply moved by Ariel’s latest #ShareTheLoad film — See Equal” and decided to change her name to ‘Anil’.
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Indianexpress.com reached out to the actor-comedian to understand what made her do that. In turn, she also shared some snippets of her life — from how she met her husband, to her pandemic experience, fitness, the power of humour to bring about a change, etc.
Excerpts:
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You considered changing your name to ‘Anil’; why did that thought come to your mind?
If men can share the load with other men like hostel mates and roommates, then why are they not able to share the domestic chores with their wives equally? The #SeeEqual film really got me thinking about the huge gender gap we see in our society when it comes to the division of labour in household chores.
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I decided to change my name to my husband’s best friend’s name. If husbands have divided the household chores with their friends in hostels or while growing up, then maybe that’s what it takes for them to see me as an equal.
What was your husband’s reaction to it?
He was quite supportive of the move. My name change is a satirical take on the reality of today where men take pride in sharing the household chores with other men — be it roommates or hostel mates — but shy away from partaking equal responsibilities at home with their wives. All men knowingly or unknowingly are guilty of not sharing the load at home. I am sure this film will get him to be an equal partner.
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What does the workload look like in your house, and how much has the pandemic changed the dynamics?
When the pandemic hit, everyone got confined to their homes which transformed into offices, schools, playgrounds overnight. With no external help, the weight of the household chores felt the heaviest. But this gave rise to an unprecedented phenomenon: men took to chores like never before as everyone in the family started to take up tasks. So many chefs were born, and social media was flooded with many firsts – first roti, first experience in sweeping, or the first load of laundry.
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In fact, in a survey, 95 per cent men said they were able to contribute to household chores during the lockdown. But as the pandemic became a reality and the country started opening, the new normal did not see this continuing; 7/10 women said their partners helped with chores during the lockdown but stopped later. I hope we can reverse this trend.
My house is similar to anyone else’s. While my husband extended his full support during the lockdown, he got busy with his own schedule as offices opened up.
How does a typical day in your house begin?
We are both fitness freaks. So, we start our day with a walk or yoga. This is followed by green tea/juice and a breakfast of our choice.
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Tell us about the power of humour to spotlight important social issues.
Humour is a powerful tool. We should stop taking ourselves so seriously. We should be able to laugh at ourselves, accept our mistakes and change our behaviour. So, humour fits perfectly well even for important social causes because the audience is more receptive to the underlying message.
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Nobody likes long dialogues that sound preachy. I have tried my best to convey a simple message through my name change video.
Did you always want to make a career in acting/stand-up comedy? How supportive was your family?
I was a shy child and had stage fright. The first time I went on stage at 14 was under the due threat of my mother that she will go to the principal and say this girl has to audition for the school play. So, to avoid embarrassment I went and auditioned, and got the role. The rest is history.
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Whenever I step on stage I feel completely at home. So, if you put me in any theatre, I feel very welcome. There is a warm musty smell that greets you. When I finished my undergraduate, my mum said, ‘If you like something you must pursue it.’ At that time, the idea of going to drama school was unheard of. I was from the south and a good student and my relatives did question what financial stability can [I] provide, [I] must pursue science. But, my parents were incredibly supportive because they themselves were unconventional — they both were in advertising and broke stereotypes that people associate with people from the south.
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I was lucky, I got a part scholarship and my parents funded the rest and I completed my masters in drama from London. The plan was always to move to Mumbai and join television that supported my theatre habit.
How did you meet your husband and how much has your relationship evolved over the years?
My husband and I met during my first play in Mumbai where he was just hanging around because he had a crush on my very-attractive co-stars. Because he is a marine engineer, I am a single parent for half the year. We realised early on that there is no demarcation or weirdness in the division of labour, or this is my job, or this is his job because I am a woman, or he is a man because it cannot exist. It must be fluid in an equal relationship. So, when I am travelling, he gets my son ready for school, gets his homework done, etc., whenever he is in Mumbai and at home.
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Also, my husband believes he is a MasterChef because he can make a sandwich; I had to show him an episode of MasterChef to make him realise men can do a lot more praiseworthy things than a sandwich!
Any advice to men on ways in which they can share the workload at home?
There are numerous ways — they can start with a simple task of doing laundry. Sort the clothes, load the drum, put detergent or liquid and switch the power. Bingo.
They can pick up a chore of their choice, for example, grocery shopping or getting the kids’ homework done. They should do it daily and not just on weekends, because that would defeat the purpose of equality at home.
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